How to Shift from “Role Mate” to “Soul Mate”
You used to be the epitome of passion — deliriously infatuated lovers who couldn’t get enough of each other. But somewhere along the way, that electric soul mate connection started to fizzle. These days, your partnership feels more like a platonic, functional arrangement of running a household together. You’ve become amazing roommates, maybe even great co-parents…but the romance is flatlining.
When a relationship devolves into the dreaded “roommate zone”, the intimacy fades while the chore charts and scheduling logistics take center stage. As John Gray warns, “We can allow ourselves to slip into roles of roommates, stuck in routines that become boring and dysfunctional.” When those soulful dynamics get stagnant, you slip into role mate territory.
Rebuilding That Profound Soul Mate Bond
The good news? Getting stuck in this role mate rut doesn’t have to be your forever reality. With conscious effort, you can absolutely rekindle that profoundly intertwined soul mate dynamic again. John Gray affirms, “Soul mates are not found — they are nurtured and cultivated from the souls within us.”
If you’re yearning to revive that soulful, all-encompassing desire and intimacy with your partner, take these 5 steps starting today:
1. Get radically honest with each other about the gap between your current reality and your soul mate visions. What’s missing?
2. Emotionally re-commit to being one another’s best friend, lover, and partner in crime. You’re a united front.
3. Inject Newness™ into every aspect of your relating through fresh date ideas, bedroom adventures, and conversational topics.
4. Practice daily rituals to deposit into your Emotional Bank Account, like extended eye-gazing or sharing appreciation lists.
5. Work through the “From Role Mate to Soul Mate: A Couples' Guide to Finding Your Spark Again” mini-workshop to get a full rekindling roadmap.
The role mate to soul mate journey is absolutely possible, but it requires continual care and conscious practice. Don’t settle for cohabitating mediocrity when you can have red-hot intimacy. The soul mate flames are waiting to be fanned into an all-consuming passion once again.
