How do you use these questions?
Take turns. One of you answers while the other listens without fixing, defending or correcting. When the answer ends, say back what you heard before you respond. Then switch. Pick the questions that feel right for this week; you do not need to use all of them. For the full ritual, see the Relationship Check-In Method™.
Gratitude questions
What is one thing I did this week that you appreciated, even if it was small?
What is something about me you are grateful for that you do not say often enough?
When did you feel most taken care of by me recently?
What is one thing you are grateful for about how we handle life together?
What do you want me to know I am doing right?
Re-friending questions
What made you laugh this week that you have not told me about?
What would you like us to do together, just for fun, this month?
When did we last feel like best friends, and what were we doing?
What is something you are curious about that I could join you in?
Is there a small ritual we used to have that you miss?
Connection questions
When did you feel closest to me this week?
Is there anything on your mind that you have not felt able to say?
What helps you feel most heard by me?
How are you really doing, beyond the schedule and the to-do list?
What is one way I could show up for you better this week?
Future-Gazing questions
What do you want our life to look like a year from now?
What is one thing you want us to start, stop or keep doing?
What are you looking forward to, and what are you dreading?
What is a goal we share that we have not talked about lately?
If we protected one thing from getting crowded out this season, what would it be?
Conflict Resolution questions
Is there something from this week that is still bothering you?
What did you need in that moment that you did not get?
What part of our last disagreement do you think I handled well, and what would you like me to understand better?
What would help us repair faster the next time we disagree?
What is one thing you are willing to try differently?
What makes a check-in question work?
- It is about now. This week beats the last five years.
- It cannot be answered yes or no. Open questions invite a real answer.
- It is about you, not about blame. “What did you need?” opens a door. “Why did you always…” closes it.
These questions are written for this page. The Relationship Check-In Deck™ has its own set of 80 prompt cards across five categories, and Happy Partners AI generates new prompts every session so check-ins do not get stale.